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Untitled (Romantic Poem-Comments Appreciated)
02.13.04, 12:40:33
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Post #1 (permalink) |
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Any comments at all, any criticism. Tell me if it rawks. Tell me if it put you to sleep. It's a little opaque, but it's probably my favorite poem at the moment.
____No Title_____
There were city lights and slickened curbs, taxi cabs and signs
Windows drowned the streets and butchers ground their knives
Trout and salmon lined on paper, sweets of every kind
Dancing children, business men and their fur-lined wives
And in the midst of grey and blue, a stone lay in the brook
A couple swaddled in a crowd which rolled against their skin
Tongues on lips and fingers locked but no one cast a look
December frost painted faces in the model of the sky but so much warmth within
Heaven bowed below to dance around their figure and whisper slow
And the floor beneath decided to abandon permanence to swivel as a stage
To set the two as idol doves, singing songs that only lovers know
Lovers locked in winter’s wind and held in night time’s cage
Corduroy pants and collarless coat, a child wrapped in a land far gone trips on ice
Hands drawn by tears and skids and knee on concrete, the child tilts his head
The creature’s lips part and sigh, for he sees the two who brave the air with kisses made of spice
A frame of grace that his eyes won’t tear from, which his heart will never shed
And of the two, one lets his eyes embrace the night to embolden words he weaves
‘To live with gold and silken things can thrill the humblest of men
But treasure dearest, treasure only, is the love that never leaves’ |
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