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  God of Everything
 
 
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Kanilicious
 
Posts: 2,292
 
Reg: Dec 30 2002
 
ID: 4390
 
RP: 0
 
I'LL keep the Ring
slow down and i sail on
the river, slow down and
i walk to the hill
     
 
Default  [p] untitled gimme comments pleeeeeeeeeeeease, even if they is bad
02.13.04, 12:22:41
  Post #1 (permalink)
 
     

swirl the pale glows of reality
patterns in the chaos, ribbons of red
flowing shocks of silver bright
blaze the path, open up the azure way
nothing can be foretold, though the cycle is eternal
fear come from the weaving shifting madness
safety in the illusion of order
so in time let blood flow hate change
live in comfortable lies you tell yourself
as for me i revel and laugh when you shun the chaos and me within
______________________________________

[img]http://********.co.uk/Jay/***signature.gif[/img]

Quote:
Quoth FullMetal_Heart:
hahahaha....sorry roxas im past that point...i have been destroyed...why do u think i call myself fullmetal_heart... cuz my heart waz destroyed by girls and ****ing *******s....so it became dark and cold and the tiny fragments of my heart pieced together and my heart became fullmetal....i love only myself,i care only for myself....i live to kill others and taste their blood and its sooo sweet.....thats wut my parents did 2 me,they twisted me,and screwed me and made me that way...but im not completely hopeless...so dont give up on me...and thus...i AM THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST...so i destroy anyone who gets in my way...and soon people will pay...i'll kill them all...
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  Sorrow
 
 
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LFF IS BACK!!!!
 
Posts: 638
 
Reg: Nov 30 2002
 
ID: 3752
 
RP: 0
 
Black and White
Korn
Lilo and Stitch
Haunter of the Dark
PC
     
 
Default  02.13.04, 14:13:52
  Post #2 (permalink)
 
     

that sounds like an undertone to something i would write. Very cool, good job.
______________________________________


From Childhood's hour i have not been
As others were - I have not seen
As others saw - I could not bring
My passions from a common spring-




The Dark Lord has arrived....

The spawn of Dammo and Lennon....you know it's gonna be bad.

200 posts - Valentines day 04, 16:27 gmt

400 posts - 02/03/04 19:32 gmt
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  Caith
 
 
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Better than you
 
Posts: 1,643
 
Reg: Apr 10 2002
 
ID: 494
 
RP: 0
 
???
Dir en Grey
A Witch Born Wicca
     
 
Default  02.13.04, 15:05:51
  Post #3 (permalink)
 
     

WHAT THE ****S IS THIS ****S! J/K
I don't think I'm in posistion to actually judge this poem,
sure I may be a poet myself, and have many published poems,
but still..I can give you my thoughts about it tho...no advice just thoughts

I like that fact that you didn't stick to the typical way of writing poetry, with rhymes and what not. I was able to draw an abstract picture from your words, and that is always good. It also drew out hidden emotions from me, mostly angst for some reason...but good never the least....keep it up I wanna see more from you
______________________________________


If yuh real badman nuh fraid fi buss gun (WOO!!!)
When mi a come up don't stand up just run
Mi mek blood stain fi get a custom
(BLOCKA BLOCKA!!!!) First serve to first come (HA!!!!)



τ|.|τ
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