this is a short story that i wrote for an english portfolio, i am a sophomore in high school so its got a lot of work left.
It is called the battle of the Gods. ive posted it before but i dont no what happened to it. PM me if u have any suggestions or just give me your opinion or just make a comment below.
The Battle of the Gods
In a time before written records and mankind itself existed a world of terror, courage, honor and beauty. where creatures that now could only be found in the wildest of imaginations live. Creatures of beauty such as the Phoenix, Griffin and Sphinx thrived. Also creatures of darkness and evil like Wraiths, Goblins and Trolls swarmed.
Each race of creatures had its own ruler, the mightiest of the clans. Each ruler was chosen in a great battle. Two potential rules engaged in combat and whichever one performed the best was granted leadership. The beings that decided this were the gods of the world; the Silver Moon Dragon Shale was the goddess of the north. The god of the south was the great Mountain Ogre Radian. The god of the west was deemed as the great Thunder Troll Stormhammer. The goddess of the east was the Atlantic Leviathan Mantis.
Chapter 1: The Awakening
Brecht could hear the clap of a distant thunderstorm as he awoke from a startling dream. He dreamed that he was somehow flying over a great mountain chain. He flew for hours and had no idea how he was staying aloft because he had no flying magic and no wings. He was almost to the largest mountain in the chain, and he could see that it was so large that it had a bowl in the middle. However, before he could see anything with detail, something struck his head and he woke.
Brecht wondered what was over that cliff, and he took the dream as an omen because he has had the dream more than once and he was very superstitious. But he had more pressing matters to attend to like leading his people, the forest ogres. There was a great festival to be had soon to honor the gods and the great tournament that will give the victor eternal life wherever they chose. Brecht was hoping that he would be chosen for this tournament.
Only the leaders of their clans could compete in this battle so Brecht had a good chance of being chosen. He was both the leader of his clan and the best warrior that the forest ogres had seen in over three centuries. He was anxious for the festival to begin because tonight was the night that all the clans in the world would receive the message of who would be fighting in the great tournament. But, it was still early in the morning so he decided to sleep some more before the big day.
Chapter 2: The Sun
Balor, the great sun wyrm had dreamt the same dream that Brecht did but he actually understood it. Even though the dream was confusing, Balor contemplated it for hours and he concluded that it was some kind of omen that he perceived meant that he would come close to greatness but something would cut him off. Balor was the leader of the Sun Wyrm clan and the wisest dragon wizard in over a century.
He too had to prepare for the great festival of the tournament where the chosen ones would be announced. The festival was hard to prepare for the dragons, though, because they lived on the sun and all of their decorations melted after a few seconds. Their golden scale hides were tougher than steel and could not even be melted by the sun. They lived on the sun because unless their blood was at a boil at all times then they would be very uncomfortable and they could even become sick. Fortunately, Balor was not burdened with this problem, so he was not forced to live on the sun but he chose to so he could live with his own kind.
Balor hopes that he is chosen, and he has a great chance of this because he has the ability to cast the best spells in the clan and the fact that he is the leader of his race. He could even make a fireball hot enough to melt the near invulnerable scales of his species.
If Balor were chosen, he would have to leave immediately for the earth on the solar currents made by the sun. The golden dragons wings were made for flying in air and for catching solar winds, this gives them the ability to fly to the earth in just two days instead of the usual two weeks. In that time, most creatures would run out of oxygen, but the dragons have a special set of lungs that can breathe any type of gas and turn it into oxygen. Just one breath can last a month.
Just as the festival was almost complete for the sun, the forest ogre clan was also about to sit down to the grandest meal of the century. Brecht was at the head of the table that was laden with roasted pig, steak, venison and all of the other ogre favorites. Brechts’ best friend Thrash was sitting next to him and in the middle of the meal he made a toast. “My friend here has been the leader of the clan for over five years. This year is possibly his last year too because the Tournament is soon and Brecht is expected to be chosen. May he fight with honor and dignity and leave the battle as the victor, to live eternal life in his dreams.”
After that toast all of the ogres let out a great cry, as if charging into battle, that made the entire forest shudder and left all of the creatures in their homes shuddering from fear. After the meal was over, the head of a majestic silver dragon appeared over the table and with a loud and disciplined voice said, “As you all should know the great tournament is to be held in one weeks time. The tournament will have two contestants that will go into battle. The victor will be granted eternal life and the right of any land of their choice. It just so happens that I have the chosen competitors names here, Balor of the Sun Wyrms, and his competition will be Brecht of the Forest Ogres. I will expect these two champions to be in the wastelands of Madeira in one weeks time.”
The moment that the face disappeared, another roar arose from the ogres that stripped the remaining branches off of the surrounding trees. Two hours later Brecht was packed and ready to head for the wastelands with visions of battle in his head. Luckily the wastelands were only a three day trip if he took the path used by his ancestors. They had put a spell on it that kept all dangers away from the path so travelers could use it regularly. At the same time that Brecht was leaving the ogre encampment, Balor was spreading his golden wings to catch the solar winds for the trip to the earth.
Chapter 3: The Championship
After three days, Brecht made it to the wastelands, and he was not surprised to see the hundreds of different creatures on the borders of the wastelands. he was greeted by a small gnome, about two feet high with a scrunched up nose and a pointy hat. “Name please,” Brecht was confused but he followed along, “Brecht of the Forest Ogres.” Immediately the little gnomes eyes widened and he told him to stay where he was. About five minutes later, he came back with a tall elf who told him to follow him to a building that was so tall that he couldn’t even see the roof and so wide that he couldn’t see the sides. He thought, “why hadn't he seen this before? It was too big to miss for miles, so there must be a spell on the place to conceal it,” and he left it at that.
The elf told him to head inside and meet with the gods. The elf also told him that his competition was in there too. He walked inside and he saw a giant golden dragon just standing in front of the four most majestic creatures he had ever seen. Surely these marvelous creatures must be the gods, and he was certain that they were after he saw the dragon that had made the announcement at the right end of the gigantic table.
The Leviathan told him to sit or stand wherever he wants while they state the rules of the battle. “The rules go as follows, rule number one, the only way to win is to knock out the opponent or kill him. Rule two, in the event of a draw, the two contestants will not be granted eternal life but will however, be given the choice of a place to live. Rule three, any weapon used by a contestant that was not agreed upon by the judges will be considered illegal and the person using that weapon must forfeit. Do the competitors agree to these rules?” The gold Dragon and Brecht both nodded their heads and agreed. “Good, accommodations have been provided. Eat well and report on the field tomorrow morning at noon, there the battle will begin.”
Chapter 4: The Sacrifice
The next morning at noon, Balor and Brecht appeared on the field and chose their weapons. Balor did not need a weapon because he was a dragon with sharp teeth, claws and breathes fire. However, Brecht chose a gigantic mithril mallet that was indestructible and it was imbued with the strength to control the earth and make lightning bolts at will. Before the battle, the two contestants showed off their abilities to warm up. Brecht struck the ground and made an earthquake, and he blew up a rock with lightning. Balor showed off his aerial capabilities by flying through a series of pillars, and he used his fire breath to melt sand into intricate patterns of glass.
Finally, after warming up, the two rivals faced each other. The battle started by Brecht shooting a lightning bolt at Balor, but in the nick of time he moved out of the path. Brecht countered this by making pillars of rock shoot up but they were not fast enough to hit Balor as he weaved between them with amazing skill. The battle continued like this for four days. On the fourth day both of them were tired and fatigue was starting to show.
Even though they were hungry and depraved of sleep, Brecht still kept fighting, he shot lightning bolt after lightning bolt at the other and after an hour of doing this Balor landed. Brecht had just enough strength to shoot one more bolt, but he was tired and he tripped and the bolt hit a mountain and boulders started falling toward Balor. He wanted to win but not so bad that he would kill. He gained one last burst of strength and charged at Balor and had just enough strength to move the giant dragon but he got caught in the rockslide instead.
Balor, though tired moved to the rock pile and started digging, he found the ogre at the bottom. He was unconscious and badly hurt. Brecht was treated for his wounds at a nearby building but was still unconscious. Suddenly, the gods appeared and declared Balor the winner. Immediately he said, “I do not accept. This creature saved my life, and risked his own in the process. He is a creature of honor and i will not accept victory at his expense. I call a draw.”
At that moment, Brecht awoke from his deep slumber and both he and Balor were face to face with Radian and Shale. They stated at the same time, “We have waited centuries for creatures to show such honor. All gods are not supposed to live forever, they need a replacement after some time which is what the tournament is for. When you two showed that much courage and honor, we now know that we have found our replacements.
Both Balor and Brecht turned to each other with questioning glances. Then the two gods disappeared and the ogre and the dragon both received a great rush of energy and knowledge. The other two gods told them to follow them, and so they did. Brecht was flying again and so was Balor to the same mountain in their dreams. “Welcome to Ashneara, the land of the gods.” They crested the ridge of the great mountain and saw a great lush empire inside the giant crater. “This is where you will live out much of your lives as the immortal and govern the worlds.” They gazed in wonder at the bounty of the land and lived for over 3000 years as the great gods of the sun and forest, Balor the Sun Wyrm of the north and Brecht the Forest Ogre of the south.
______________________________________
I am the essence of VIRTUE.
I am the soul of SORROW.
I am filled with DILEMMA.
I possess no INDULGENCE.
I know only DEVOTION.
I live in DESPAIR.
I wield no ARROGANCE.
I am the ONE.
(Inspired by FF IX)
Firstly, you need to space out your paragraphs. It is very straining for the eyes when they are not broken down. Give your readers some breathing room too. Second, your quotes should also be spaced out as well. That way the readers would be able to follow through the story.
Also, I noticed that your chapters seem too short. Short stories do not need chapters, unlike a novel.
thanks, i just added the chapters to space out the different parts of the story and i did have the paragraphs spaced out but i copied it from word and i forgot to. but this is the first time ive been able to write something like this so it kinda sux.
Linear Mode
