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  Kuffufin
 
 
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Unhappy  [P] not a really happy poem
05.10.03, 01:19:47
  Post #1 (permalink)
 
     
Same requests apply as in my other poem thread. Please make any comments/criticism no matter how little you may think it means to the thread. And any supportive comments are welcome through PM or posting in this thread

Bleed

The rusty blade
That lies on my skin
Brings out the warm feeling
That comes from within
Cutting so gently
Yet pain grows like a fire
This will be the end
Of all of my desires
You drove me to the edge
Taunting my every move
Now I sit here begging
I知 finished off soon
You label me angst
Yet you値l never understand
All of the pain I have felt and seen
And you still think I知 bland
No where to run now
I show you true pain
Although it isn稚 physical
I hope it will drive you insane
Now a blade to my neck
slicing so quickly
Maybe if you watch this
You will quit your bickering
I bleed so quickly
With no tears in the eyes
Yet you still sit there
Watching my life go by
You stare with caution
As if you plan a surprise
Yet this is the real me
And this is how I will die
I grow tired now
So I値l bring it to an end
A gun and a silver bullet
Will lend my life a hand
With the trigger ****ed
And the barrel to my head
Onward to hell
I知 finally dead
Our session has ended
Yet so has my life
I hope you got what you wanted
You finally watched me die





Obvious what the poem is about. The whole story behind it is somewhat complicated, and I'd rather have you read the poem than fall asleep on your keyboard, so I'll save it for another time.
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  Razor's Kiss
 
 
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Default  05.10.03, 07:00:24
  Post #2 (permalink)
 
     
An excellent poem, very very very excellent. Damn I love your style, please, continue to write such great stuff. *donates*
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Berdine- 60 Troll warrior, RIP.
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  Highwinder
 
 
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Default  05.10.03, 11:29:31
  Post #3 (permalink)
 
     
I agree. This is an excellent poem. It is vivid in detail and honest in its sadness and anger. You are very good at this. Better than I am. Please, keep sending more of this to the forums.
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Who is driving car omg bear is driving car
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