Well I rarely write anything, infact this is only the second poem ive freely written, but I guess I gotta make my own proclaimed thread...
anyways.. I just wrote this,. talking to my friend about stuff, feeling like ****... its really bad for a poem , but meh.
**** it
My life is ****ed
its not right
where did bliss die
and pain survive
it's uncontrollable
My projection screen is working
the vision is set
normal, say the onlookers as they move on
my image is ****ed
it's uncontrollable
don't go, don't leave me
don't give up on me now
I just need time
it just wasn't fair
the chances mock me through time
it's uncontrollable
I can't change now
my futures set
I can't turn around
what would that say about me?
I just want to remain beside you
don't push me away
My life is ****ed, I can't control it.
That's not too shabby, keep trying and I think you'll get really good. Some of the lines seem a it clumsy to me, mainly 'the chances mock me through time'. But on the whole, I liked it.
______________________________________
From the darkness you must fall
Failed and weak, to darkness all
Jesus Christ Kev, it's cool that you're good in Photoshop, but to be equally talented in all forms of artistic expression, holy crap! I'd donate RP to ya but that's like offering that goddamn Coke Polar Bear some ice for his drink. Get the analogy? Good, because I make no sense right now.
Anyways, I'll comment some more when my brain works right. But for now, extremely well done!
Gracias ^_^_^_^ Lol today in english we had to writ eout this stupid story using our 10 vocab words, everyones is really stupid and basic, but iw as very bored and creative so mines all poetic and dramatic, i wonder what she will think....lol
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