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I present to you, 'The Six'.
12.26.02, 19:18:20
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Well, this was originally a crazy scheem of mine to make money for use in the Battle system, but that is no longer an issue, and so I will just post up my story as I write it. I would wellcome input on the style and the quality of the writing (And go nuts, I have an ego the size of the moon, so you wont hurt me! HA HA!)
Anyways, I will warn you ahead of time, it's long, so read it only if you don't have anything you want to do for the next ten or fifteen minutes, and because I cut and pasted it from Word, the indentations don't work for the paragraphs which is a little annoying... Anyways, enough said.
So here is the first few chapters of my Magnum Opus, The six.
Seth Harbinger opened his eyes to total void. He was surrounded by nothing as though it where a physical substance, only it was the lack there of. If he tried to reach out and touch it, he was horrified to find that he did not exist himself. It was as if his consciousness was bound by a black straightjacket. The black void seemed to waver as if it where dancing flame, though there was no colour or light to distinguish the flame from the void.
Suddenly there was a horrifying flash of technicoloured light and the entire universe revealed it's self in it's entirety. Inaudible words where resounding from all around Seth as if the noise was omnipresent. He tried to
cover his ears but that only made it worse, as if he himself was also emitting the terrible noise, and so he tried to shield his eyes from the blinding light instead.
An explosion to his right threw him to the ground and before he could get his bearings, he found himself running along side a group of armor-clad soldiers. Blood got in his eyes as he ran and to his great disgust, he realized it was not his own. Successions of rapid explosions followed and the soldier beside him seemed to come apart from the spinal column out. Seth stopped and was about to vomit but as he bent down he found himself looking over the side of a huge cliff face.
Vertigo edged him backwards and as he looked up, he could see a huge storm front of black clouds moving rapidly towards him. He was about to turn and run back but the storm was all around him now. Lightning struck the cliff and he was thrown off into the sea.
As he fell he had enough time to realize that he was no longer dressed in his jeans and tee shirt. He was wearing red armor over his right breast and shoulder, which seemed to glisten with magical fire. A black cape had appeared slung over his right side and his gloves, once made of thinsulate and nylon where now thick leather gauntlets.
He hit the water inelegantly, causing a huge splash, and he proceeded to sink like a rock. He tried to swim to the surface but was hampered by the armor and the sword, which hung from his belt. As he was about to run out of breath, still meters from the surface, a force from beneath him pushed him upwards, as if the water did not want him there. Gasping as he surfaced, Seth struggled to stay afloat in the choppy water. A shadow like an eclipse passed over him and he turned his head to see a wall of water rolling towards him. He had enough time to mentally record "****!" before it caught him and haplessly tossed him around in the surf like a dandelion seed in a tornado.
After loosing all sensation of balance, gravity and what was up, he landed on something solid. The water had washed him up on shore, but it was receding and didn't think it was done with him. Seth blindly dug his fingers into the sand and hung on as the water towed him back for another round. Somehow he managed to find a rock lodged in the beach and held on as the water reluctantly retreated without him. He scrambled up the beach before the next wave could reach out to claim him again and lay coughing for several minutes before lying still and muttering such insights as "This *cough* is ****ing *cough* insane!", "**** you *cough* world!" and so on.
A warm breeze washed over him, which seemed to calm and restore him. There was no fluid in his lungs, no scratches on his face or arms, he wasn't even wet. Seth picked himself up to find himself standing on the top of a tall
mountain overlooking a massive rainforest. Snow capped mountains broke the orange horizon into a jagged line, casting long shadows like lion’s fangs. Behind him, there was no more ocean, but three moons, rising behind a field of rolling green hills, which seemed to be burning from the light of the sunset.
Turning around again, Seth saw a girl dressed in an almost incandescent blue dress. She stood with her back to him, her head high. Her long blond hair, which was tied behind her head by long black bangs, was blowing in the breeze, her arms apart as if in silent meditation, and her toes hanging over the rim of a precipice.
"Hey... What are you doing?!" Seth called out to her.
She turned slowly towards him as the sun settled in behind her and she appeared as an angel might. Her hair like plumed wings of gold and her translucent clothing like a shimmering aura. Her face was masked in shade by the brilliance of the sunlight, but she seemed to smile slightly and then began to fall. Seth didn't even think. He jumped forward and grabbed her by the arm before she could fall completely. They both lost their balance and when Seth finally got a hold of himself again, he was kneeling at the edge of oblivion, grasping the girl by the arm. Beyond her was the same swirling void that Seth had been trapped in.
"Just let me fall..." She pleaded with him.
"You know I can't do that." Seth didn't know why he couldn't. He didn't even know the girl. He just knew that he couldn't let her fall, that she meant more to him than life. There was no cliff now, just the two of them and the void. He had a slight sensation of falling, and she must have had it too. She reached up a grabbed Seth's other arm for some kind of support, as a handle on reality perhaps.
"You know," Remarked Seth "if you could only learn to stay away from tall cliffs, this probably wouldn't happen."
"Sarcastic to the last I see."
"Me? Sarcastic? Never!"
The darkness shivered as though a cold wind had blown across existence and a shimmering white dragon appeared in their path of decent. Particles of light formed around its open maw. It breathed them in as it inhaled a long deep breath. It's wings tensed, it's claws clenched and its tail flickered erratically.
"Definitely gotta do something about that cliff fixation...."
The dragon expelled its breath into a jet of White flames which engulfed Seth and the girl completely, reducing them both to ash in milliseconds.
Seth could hear a noise, which he presumed to be his own cowardly scream, reverberating around him. He sat up in a cold sweat as the image of his own cremation faded into his surroundings. He wiped the sweat from his face and lay back down.
"The same dream again... Got blasted by a dragon this time... FACINATING! Not nearly as fascinating as oh, say, a
good two hours uninterrupted sleep, but fascinating none the less."
Seth had been unable to sleep for the past 12 days. This repetition marked a perfect sleepless 13. He was strongly
considering undergoing full Youngian analysis, including the hypnotic psycho therapy specialty package.
He tried to close his eyes but the light made it impossible to even think of sleep.
"Sunlight? Damnation! I don't wanna get up, I just want to lie here in the cool tall grass and..."
Seth righted himself with a start, as though he was rudely awakened by a bucket of ice water.
"The HELL?! WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!" He yelled to his surroundings. There was no answer but the rustle
of the leaves from a distance.
After briefly surveying his surroundings, Seth discerned that he was standing in the middle of a clearing, in the middle of a forest between two ranges of mountains. How he was transported there from his bed in his room at his house without him noticing was beyond him for the moment. There where six trees in the clearing in an even hexagon surrounding him. Seth thought this was too strange to be a sheer coincidence. Upon further inspection, they where deciduous trees, very much like maples, also, above and to the left of one of them where three moons in the sky.
Seth quickly put two and two together and decided that this was an extension of the recurring dream, which had been dogging him for the past two weeks.
“Well,” He thought “At least I’m getting my much needed sleep.” He lay back down in the grass and closed his eyes again.
“This is much more relaxing than falling off cliffs and being torched by dragons. Yup, nothing but blue sky, tall grass and three moons…”
“Welcome to the middle worlds Seth.”
“Huh? Oh thanks, it’s a lot better than the other one so far…”
Seth sat up and looked around to see who was speaking to him. There was nothing around him that he could see and so he lay back down.
“Wake up Seth.”
“Ha ha… Voices in my head. Now I know I’m dreaming. No thanks pal, I’m staying right here.”
“Dreaming? You think this is a dream?”
“Well, lemme see here,” Seth mentally counted on his fingers, “um, forest, three moons, dragon, voices in head… Yeah I’d say it’s a dream. So if you don’t mind, I’m going to make the most of it and get some shut eye.”
“So would call the last few days an extension of the dream as well?”
“Huh? Now you’re just not making sense.”
“Hmm… You forget quickly. No, maybe you forget conveniently.”
Seth remembered sitting in French class, attempting to recall the difference between simple, normal and complicated future tenses. He knew that only one of them had any real application unless he decided he wanted to translate Shakespeare into French for children… Or something like that, it was all very confusing and infuriating.
As he sharpened his pencil for the third time, a tiny nagging voice etched its self into his own furious internal monologue of swearing and hair pulling.
“Seth, Seth, Seth. You really are a puzzle wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a paradox. You hate language, yet you insist on sitting through both French and English literature to prove that you can do it, despite the fact that you always fail.”
He remembered wanting to kill who ever this second voice was but calmed him self, believing that to do so would require either years of therapy or a lobotomy. He continued writing.
“There now, see? Psychology is something you could do. You’re already as screwed up as they get, other people’s problems wouldn’t even faze you. But no, you would rather ram your head into a wall. Fine, I can’t stop you.”
The voice seemed to take corporeal form now. Seth could almost see a tall figure in dark clothing hovering around him. He tried to ignore it and got back to failing his test.
“Speaking of ramming your head against a wall, how about your little **** friend? Didn’t you have some kind of plans last night or something? How did that go? Oh, yeah, that’s right she was tired. Didn’t wanna go out. Probably didn’t want to be seen with you. Can you really blame her? I mean, you would probably just embarrass yourself and her with your relentless sarcasm and stink up the joint with the vest you’ve been wearing for a straight year, spring, summer, fall and winter round.”
“I would really like you to shut the **** up right about now…” He muttered.
“You know, I have a theory and, correct if you haven’t jumped to the same conclusion here but, well, here’s what I think. I think she’s had her fun slumming with you, the unpopular loner type, and wants a go with the popular, blue collar, pure, well-refined, high-class **** again. Someone who will buy her things and move her up the high school social ladder. Now… Who do we know who might be able to pull that off for her and who is equally spineless as you?”
“I don’t care, get the **** out of my head!”
“That’s what I thought. You’re not blind, you’re just weak. You let every one push you around and you never push back. Your ‘girl friend’ cheats on you and you shrug it off. Why?! I can see your thoughts, you think she’s a two dimensional slut who’s head is so full of air she’s in danger of lifting off the ground and floating away with the slightest gust of wind. Why hang onto that? We both know you can do better. You don’t have to put up with this you know. All you have to do is stand your ground and fight back for once. Demand the respect you know you deserve instead of slumping your shoulders and turning your tail like a broken mechanical dog.”
Seth could remember feeling as though he where on fire. His body burned as though magma coursed through his veins.
The figured leaned over Seth’s shoulder and spoke softly into his ear.
“I bet you’d really like to kill me wouldn’t you?”
“The thought had crossed my mind…”
“Well,” The figure seemed to shift out of reality temporarily and then appeared at the front of the classroom, “here I am. Take your best shot!”
Seth sat motionless and tried harder to ignore it.
“Just think of it Seth. No more pestering, no more taunting, a good night’s sleep for once. You know, if you weren’t such a ****in’ pansy, things might be a lot different than they are now. Maybe, you would have more friends. Maybe, the friends you have wouldn’t step on your face when ever it suited them, and maybe, that mugger would be pushing up daisies now instead of Amanda…”
Seth leaped to his feet and in a smooth motion, lifted his desk chair above his head and flung it thirty feet to the front of the room. It passed through the apparition and crashed into the black board, shattering the slate.
The burning in his veins subsided and was replaced by an ache in his muscles from lactic acid. He felt as though he had just run a marathon using only his arms. His vision faded out of monochrome red back into colour. It felt as if he hadn’t blinked in an hour. The entire class and the teacher where utterly dumbfounded.
“Wow, question seven’s a though one…” He said aloud.
“…” They replied.
“Can I be excused to get a drink of water?”
“…”
“S’il vous plaite madame, puis je, oh forget it…”
Seth picked up his bag and hurried out of the room. He went straight to the nearest faucet, which was in the bathroom across the hall and drank enough water to quench the thirst of a small heard of wildebeest before noticing the bathroom’s pink walls and lack of urinals. He shrugged and continued drinking but stopped when he heard discreet noises coming from the far stall. On a normal day he would have left the vicinity with haste, but on a normal day he wouldn’t have accidentally gone into the wrong bathroom. Besides, the noise, a male voice whispering and female giggling, sounded very familiar.
He approached the stall as quietly as possible until he was absolutely certain of what he was hearing. Using his foot, he lifted the door off the hinges and threw it aside. Standing there where two people, the male with his hands placed firmly on and around the female’s breasts. Startled, they turned to see who hand intruded on their business. They where Seth’s ‘girlfriend’ Jenny, and Adam, his best friend for five years.
“Fancy meeting you two here.”
“…Seth,” Adam started, “it’s not what you think…”
Seth shrugged.
“The brail tattoo? Yeah, I’ve seen it too.”
Seth calmly reached forward, grabbed Adam by the shirt and flung him with incredible force into the opposite wall. Adam’s head ricocheted off a pipe and blood dripped down his right temple as he lay motionless in a heap on the floor. Seth picked him up by his hair so he could look him in the eyes. Adam was barely conscious.
“Listen you worthless bag of ****! Maybe when we’re both burning in hell we can kick a boulder around together, but until then, I don’t want to see you, hear you or smell you. And if I do, you’re going to be kicking that boulder a whole lot sooner.”
Seth let go and Adam slumped, unconscious, to the ground. Jenny recoiled into the stall like a frightened animal as Seth took a slow, lumbering half step towards her.
After a good quarter second of unbearable tension, he said, “We’re through.” And left. A small mob of people had gathered outside the bathroom but they parted like the red sea before Seth.
“Pardon me.”
A teacher tried to talk to Seth to see if he was all right. Seth was only 5”7 and built like a mongoose. Not the type usually thought to be the aggressor in a physical situation, but Seth waived the teacher away with a single hand motion.
“How did that feel? Felt good didn’t it?”
Seth could see the apparition in front of him now, leaning casually against a bank of lockers.
“I thought you said you where going to leave me alone…” Seth muttered.
“What, now? We’re just getting started!”
As Seth walked towards it, the apparition began to form a face. The face of a man. A face Seth would never forget. The long, silver blond hair, the high cheek bones, pale skin and dark piercing eyes.
“You…”
Seth stopped and looked him straight in the face to make sure, then, he clenched his fist and put it through a locker door.
“A little dense aren’t you? A desk chair didn’t hit me, so what makes you think your fist would be any different? I’m not really here Seth. Chalk this up to the world playing yet another very mean prank on you. I’m sure you’re used to it by now. Now take your hand out of the locker, people are staring, and you’re bleeding quite badly.”
Seth could hear the mob behind him beginning to mutter and shuffle. He carefully pried his arm out of the jagged hole he had left in the metal door and examined his arm. His glove had protected his hand for the most part but there where moderately deep gashes running all the way from his wrist to his elbow. He still couldn’t feel any pain.
“I never liked that locker.” He shouted to the crowd as he turned and left the building.
He had spent the rest of the day and night, and the following day sitting awake in his bed, afraid to sleep for what he might dream, afraid to be near anyone for fear of what he may have done. Sleep and exhaustion finally claimed him at around six in the morning the following day.
“Yeah, yeah I get it. Hear voices, make crazy, throw things, almost kill Adam, collapse in paralyzed heap of paranoia. But am I supposed to believe that THIS is real? I mean come on, I don’t remember hearing about the other two of earth’s moons in school.”
“Trust your senses. Feel the earth; the ground is solid under your feet. Breath the air, it fills your lungs. This world is as real as the one you know. Although I guarantee, the similarity ends there.”
Seth kicked the ground. He pulled some grass from the earth to make sure it was real. His mind was the only thing that told him it was still a dream. Everything else was genuine.
“Oh sure, so by your logic, if I’m ****ed up on some crazy drug and huge snake is trying to eat me, that’s REAL too right? Pfft! Jesus, look at me, I can’t believe I’m arguing with myself. YOU are nothing more the right side of my brain messing with the left side of my brain as it tries to stay one step ahead of the front of my brain which is really just ****ing with both sides at once in it’s attempts to play devil’s advocate. YOU do NOT EXSIST, and I am ignoring you NOW!”
“You quote ‘Freud For Dummies’ with such eloquence Seth. Very well. Believe what you will, it changes nothing. In the end, it is only your actions that matter, not what motivates them.”
A light breeze drifted across the clearing, causing the grass to ripple like water on a pond. Seedpods took off and rode the breeze high into the sky, vanishing from sight before falling back to earth again. Seth took a second, less quantitative look around him. The snow capped mountains, the lush green forests, patches of cumulous clouds drifting with the wind, casting shadows across the landscape like tall ships passing over shallow water.
“It’s too bad this is all a figment of my imagination. It really is… Nice.”
Seth felt ill all of a sudden and then there was a sharp pain in his head, like a cannon had gone off right next to his ear. He had a momentary view of all existence and he could hear the thoughts of every living thing. One being in particular was much stronger than the rest. It was trying to protect him from some unseen danger.
“She is trying to intervene…” it was thinking, “Damn, you’re not ready yet!”
In a flash, the sensation was gone and Seth was standing in the clearing once again.
“Whoa…”
“Seth, behind you!” The voice of his invisible stalker had changed from one of mocking to one of immediate urgency.
Seth looked over his shoulder to see some kind of pillar rising out of the ground only about two feet behind him. It was made of what looked to be overlapping, almost organic, plates. He followed it to the top to see a hideous head leering down at him.
Seth almost fell over and stumbled backwards as the creature roared.
“Explain your presence here!”
Seth could only stutter. His dream had left the realm of the unlikely and entered that of the absurd. Now there was a thirty-foot tall, snake-like creature yelling at him.
“Speak human! Don’t waste my time!”
“What the hell, I’ll play along.” Seth thought to himself. He opened his mouth to speak but the voice in the back of his mind cut him off.
“There is nothing you can say. If you lie, it will see through it and kill you but if you speak truth, it will know that you are the one it was sent to kill. You must run.”
Ignoring the voice in his head, Seth answered. “Interesting story that. Heh, I was sound asleep in my bed and through either sleep sprinting or alien abduction, I woke up here.”
“You speak truth, convoluted as it may be, an uncommon trait for one of your heritage, but it is as I suspected.”
Seth nodded in mock understanding, having no idea what the giant creature was talking about. The snake seemed confused as well.
“You stand your ground little human. Does the last of six not fear death? Very well, hold still and this won’t hurt a bit.”
The creature grinned a wide snaky grin, allowing Seth a full view of its sharp front teeth. The mouth was dominated by two massive fangs, which jutted up from each side of the lower jaw. Seth thought that it must make eating difficult but then recalled something he had seen on the discovery channel. He remembered watching a python consume an animal at least ten times the size of its mouth. This monster must be able to eat elephants if it so desired.
It moved it’s head to the side as it raised its tail high into the air, at the end of which was a large spiked globe of bone or cartilage.
“Seth!” the voice was anxious. “JUMP!”
“Good Idea.” Thought Seth as the mace-tail wound up and then came rushing to the ground like a meteor.
The ground shook from the force of the impact and dirt and debris where flung into the air from the creature’s attack. Seth dove to the right, head first, just in time. He rolled sloppily, hurting his back, neck and shoulder in the process.
“****! Ouch, that really hurt!”
“Of course it did,” came the voice of his invisible guardian “did you think this was some kind of dream?”
The creature dug its tail out of the dirt and then attacked again, this time using it’s arms and clawed hands. It struck twice, the first, taking Seth’s legs out from under him, the second tossing him backwards about twenty feet. Slightly stunned, Seth got to his feet just in time to avoid the creature’s two handed deathblow.
He dove more gracefully away this time, leaving himself in a better position to spot the creature’s next strike.
“You can’t run now Seth, You must fight. Take the sword on your right. It is your only chance.”
Seth looked quickly and sure enough, there was a sword dug tip first into the ground. He grabbed the handle in mid leap as he avoided a second attack from the massive tail.
Sprinting to a defensive position behind one of the six trees, Seth was able to get a quick feel for the sword. It was one of the most exotic and evil looking sword designs Seth had ever seen. The blade was thin, very sharp, about two and a half feet long with a slight curvature and was double pointed, one point at the tip and another near the hilt. The second point could be used to break through armor with a horizontal slash and then, with the correct wrist action, a large gash could be opened with the curve of the blade acting like a shear. Failing that, the blade could be turned around to use the three spikes on the back as a pick.
“Me? Fight that huge monster with this stupid little knife?” Seth thought. “Not in my wildest…”
Stepping out from behind the tree, Seth exclaimed while brandishing his new weapon, “Bring it on you son of a…” But that was as far as he got before the mace-tail caught him in the chest and flung him ten feet into the air and fifty back. He hit the ground hard but felt no pain from the blow or the landing, only the same burning rage he had felt back in the classroom. His blood became like magma, his breath like fire and his eyes erupted with harsh red light.
Oblivious of all else but his target, he charged in a frenzy, batting the opposing claws away with the sword and slashed three times at the snake’s carapace. But the sword bounced harmlessly away after each attack, leaving only superficial scratches. The whole underside of the snake was covered with overlapping layers of tough leather that his sword could not hope to pierce. After Seth had struck his third blow, a clawed hand ripped across his left arm, down across his chest and leg, taking flesh, cloth and blood with it. A second hand batted him away like an annoying insect.
Seth felt the fire within him go out as if someone had doused it with a bucket of cold water. The ichorous liquid, which had given him strength, was now leaking onto the ground where he lay in a clump.
“That’s nuts…” He thought “this sword just bounces off that damn thing.”
“The head is its weakness. Did you see how it hovered out of reach when you attacked? Make it lower it’s head and then strike.”
The voice was fainter, weaker than before, as though whoever was speaking with him was sharing his pain. Once again the fire returned to Seth, though it was different. Before it was a ragging inferno, but this was a throbbing heat like hot coals. Seth arose slowly. His left arm hung useless at his side and he was hunched over, trying to balance on his uninjured leg. The sword hung from his right hand which barely had strength left to grip it. The snake creature was furious.
“Why will you not die?!” It growled in a low, earth shaking tone “You can’t possibly win. Why do you resist?” It slithered over to where he now stood and towered over him. “You have the heart of a lion little human, but the body of a gazelle. Brave as you are, you will not survive.”
“Maybe not, but I CAN TAKE YOU TO HELL WITH ME!”
Seth was overcome as suddenly it was as though someone had thrown a tank of gasoline on the coals within him. He felt as though his body would explode. He tried to scream but flames leapt up his throat and when he opened his mouth, fire came out instead of sound. More flames danced across his wounds, scorching his clothing and leaving hideous scars in the place of bleeding lacerations. All the grass was incinerated in a six-foot radius around him, and even the snake recoiled slightly.
Once more the mace-tail swung towards him like a pile driver, but Seth leaped high into the air. Before the tail could land, Seth pushed off of it and caught one of the snake’s large fangs. Pulling him self up to look into the creature’s eyes Seth exclaimed, “Hold still, this won’t hurt a bit!” He thrust the sword up between the creature’s jawbones where there was nothing but soft flesh to offer resistance.
The creature roared like a banshee and violently arced its head backward, throwing Seth, the sword and a stream of blue-green blood to the ground. Seth was knocked temporarily unconscious by the fall. As he drifted in and out of darkness, he could hear the voice of the snake creature. It was shaky, unsettled.
“You evil little boy… That blade is laced with poison. I can feel it… turning my body to stone.” It raised a clawed hand into the air. “I must not let you live!”
Seth came to in time to watch the long, sharp claws of the snake’s right hand dive through his chest into the soft ground beneath him. Seth felt his ribs shift as the claws made a fist and he was laboriously lifted into the air and flung across the field like a crumpled piece of paper from the hand of a frustrated writer.
He hit the ground limply and rolled backwards twice before coming to a stop, slumped over the protruding roots of one of the six trees. Somehow he was still holding onto the sword. He felt no pain, only a warm dampness spilling over him. Again he felt a surge of fire within him, but it was only of about a quarter the intensity. He had enough strength to prop himself up against the tree trunk, but as he did so, the huge tail came scything towards him. He thought briefly about avoiding it but before he could make his muscles work, the huge mace head of the tail hit him squarely in the chest.
Seth couldn’t decide which was more unpleasant; the sound of his own ribs being crunched by the impact or the snap of his spine by a knot in the tree trunk. It didn’t seem to matter, he could barely feel anything now, and the rush of adrenaline to his brain was becoming euphoric. Without command of his lower body, he slumped over, only to be caught by the snake’s hand.
Slowly and with great effort now, the snake lifted him high into the air. Its skin was hardening and even in Seth’s crippled state; he could sense that the snake was in as bad a shape as him.
“Now you may die with me in my stone prison…” The snake rasped, seeming to loose control of its voice.
“No way in hell…” Seth grinned. He gripped the sword, which had remained glued to his hand and with all the strength he had left in him, planted the first point into the creature’s wrist and then, twisting his wrist, slashed right through, taking the creature’s hand off. The blood, which spewed forth, turned to emerald as it fell to the ground and rained like green hail on Seth, as he lay, barely conscious, barely alive in the twisted and trampled grass.
“WHY… Can’t… You… just… DIE?!!!”
“I dunno… Call it my sense of pride…”
Seth blacked out completely. |
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If you have enjoyed this post, or posts like it, please do not hesitate to click on This Link and take a look at my Story. The link is to a page that's already on this forum.
Chaos Lt, twice voted best writer by a pannel of experts (Well alright, the Repubies). Click the link to find out why!
Last edited by Chaos Lt. : 12.29.02 at 22:16:03.
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| GOD DAM YOU WRITE TOO MUCH I DIDNT EVEN READ IT ALL AND I GOT A HEAD ACHE.friendly advice make writing short and sweet. |
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Be scared of nothing bring fear to all.
What up HO, you looking for a short term career?
Looking for a few good *****es.
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| Um... Err, see, you missunderstand... I think... I meant this to be an on going novela, with a new installment aproximately whenever anyone pays me to post more.... But, I guess your oppinion is appreciated.... What did you think of what you read? |
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| Very interesting...i didnt finish all of it...but so far so good... |
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A Novella? Hmm, well, you need to knknnow when to press enter, and how many times to do it...
I'll edit this later with a proper written explanation of what I thought about it later today. Yeah, it's two in the morning. *passes out* |
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| Yes, well about that. Orginally (In MS Word from which I simply copied and pasted) all the paragraphs where nicely indented and for some reason that didn't really transfer over very well. Plus, I did a very rough editing job, so try and read what I mean, not what I write... Yes... Anyways.... |
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I'm only halfway through. but I love your work! I didn't know you could write so well. I mean you have an amazing character structure with Seth and the annoying voice. the way you flow the words together is so soothing. though, I was confused with some parts in determining the dream to reality and where he was but everything flowed together nicely.
This is my favorite line so far.
"He had enough time to mentally record "****!" before it caught him and haplessly tossed him around in the surf like a dandelion seed in a tornado" |
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