[color=Dark Red]Okay these are translation bloopers from the English movie to a Russian Pirate Movie. I found these on a really neat fan site!
I'll post more later!
A New and Different FotR movie!
Prologue
Galadriel (Starting from: "I amar prestar aen…"): Yummy pestle…
The world is crooked.
I soak it up with the water,
I see it in the eyes,
I inhale it with the air.
And none, who now lives, remembers anything at all…
(And after reading the rest of the stuff, you would agree with her )
A bit of the Ring's History
Galadriel: "The Ring had come to the hands of creature Golom, who took it to the depth of the magic mountain, and there he was burning with mad lust".
"The Ring didn't live up to expectations of the most powerful rulers. It left Golom. But everybody still had no idea. The Ring came to a man as unlucky as you can only imagine. It came to a hobbit - Bilba Baggins from the village named Shire."
Gandalf to Frodo about Sauron:
"His lifeforse is stored in the Ring, and the Ring has come to life. Saron was resurrected. Now he posesses not one life but many. His assistant Baridor rebuilt his kingdom". (From: "The spirit of Sauron endured. His life force is bound to the ring and the ring survived. Sauron has returned. His orcs have multiplied. His fortress of Barad-Dur is rebuilt in the land of Mordor.")
"They are inseparable. The Ring is like his organ, it's a part of himself, not only of his finger".
Gandalf and Frodo on a cart
Gandalf: "Strange things are happening. It's scary. VERY scary." (From: "Life in the wide world goes on much as it has this past age, full of its own comings and goings. Scarcely aware of the existence of hobbits..., which I am very thankful." Must have confused "scary" and "scarcely")
Gandalf: "Curiosity is an unforgivable weakness for a hobbit".
Gandalf: "I simply gave your uncle a nasty kick in the butt!" (From: "All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door".)
Frodo: "He invited half of the village!"
Gandalf: "What a great habit!"
Bilbo meets Gandalf
Bilbo smoking with Gandalf: "What can be better than getting stoned with your old friend?"
After that they never seem to recover
Bilbo after smoking: "Good old Toby - the last of merry old men".
Bilbo's speech: My dear Tooks, Brendybucks and errr… [pause] errrr… other respectable families.
Bilbo is trying to explain his feelings to Gandalf: (From: "I feel thin - sort of stretched like butter scraped over too much bread")
Attempt 1:
Bilbo: "This pain is filling me and leaking out, like butter which was placed too thick on a piece of bread.
Attempt 2:
Bilbo: "I'm old, Gandalf, even if I don't look old. But I begin to feel it with one of my parts. I feel pain, kinda. I feel the oily touch of this pain, which is scratching".
Bilbo is teasing Gandalf with the Ring's location: (From: "It's in the envelope on the mantelpiece")
Attempt 1:
Bilbo: "It's in tenth envelope on the mantelpiece."
Attempt 2:
Bilbo: "No. It's on a little shelf for medals.
No, it’s in my pocket. Fate's caprise? Why not? Why is it here? Why's this Ring? Why did I keep it?"
Gandalf (clearly fed up): Bilbo Baggins! Don't force me to use cheap old tricks!
Bilbo (finally makes up his mind): "Will you look after Frodo?"
Gandalf: "Of course. Two lives - how one can separate them."
Bilbo's parting advices to Frodo:
Bilbo's voiceover advice to travellers (seems to be heartfelt): "If you aren't steady on your legs, something can knock you off and drag away …
Bilbo about Sting: "It was forged by Elves… Not far from cannibals. Its blade changes its color to blue. And at moments like that you have to be extra careful."
Frodo is clearly fed up as well
Frodo to Gandalf about Bilbo(with joy and hope): Did he leave at last? He was talking about it for so long I lost all hope it would finally happen. Still can't believe it!
Helpful local people
Nazgul to a hobbit: Shiiiireee?.. Baaaagginsss?..
Hobbit (merrily): Bagginses are not at home. They are on a big celebration in Hobbiton. It's right over there!
Bree: the fateful meeting
Aragorn throwing Frodo into a room in "Pony": "What the **** are you doing, Mr.Underhill?"
Sam meets Aragorn, three different versions:
Version 1:
Sam: "Let him go or I will kill you!"
Aragorn: "I'm sure you will. I don't doubt it."
Version 2:
Sam to Aragorn in "Pony": "Are you crazy?!"
Aragorn: "You have such a good heart."
Version 3:
Sam to Aragorn in "Pony": "You're a dead man!"
Aragorn: "Screw you, shortie".
Meeting Arwen
Arwen catching Aragorn by surprise: "What's the matter? Strider is sulking?"
Merry after first seeing Arwen: "Who's that chick?"
In fair Rivendell
Frodo waking up: Where am I?
Elrond: Welcome to the Center of Erlond (sic.)!
Aragorn to Arwen: "You said that you will bring yourself for the sake of immortality of your people" (From: "You said you'd bind yourself to me. Forsaking the immortal life of your people".)
Bilbo to Frodo: "I wanted to go back, to feel the force of Meggats" (From: "To visit the forest of Mirkwood". It's anybody's guess what "Meggats" are
Whom did Sam really want to see? (From: I thought you wanted to see Elves…)
Version 1:
Sam: "We have already packed".
Frodo: "Really? I thought you would want to see old Sam…"
Version 2:
Sam: "We have already packed".
Frodo: "Not quite. I thought you would want to see Ted Sendemon."
Gandalf and Elrond discuss important matters
Elrond: "Men are weak. They are becoming extinct, and where is the pride, honour and dignity of Men? Gone."
Gandalf: "But because of Men the Ring is still alive!" (Nice counterpoint…)
Elrond (about Aragorn): "He was resurrected from the past long time ago, but was sentenced to exile".
Council of Elrond
Elrond on the Council about the Ring: "We have to place it deep into Mordor's heart".
Gimli on the Council of Elrond: "I will die and won't see the Ring in the hands of Elves..." (From: "I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf!")
Gandalf to Frodo during the Council: "Frodo Baggins, if you deside to claim the Ring, I will help you to find the way".[/color]
Saruman assesses Gandalf's mental abilities in two different ways (And judging by the next piece, Saruman's assessment is correct…): (From: "The love to the Shire leaf has clearly slowed your mind").
Way 1:
Saruman: "Tell me friend, who and when has smashed your brains out?"
Way 2:
Saruman: "Your love of trees has clearly slowed your mind".
Mind-slowed Gandalf in Moria talks about Bilbo's pity
Variant 1:
Frodo: "Gollum... It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him".
Gandalf: "Yes, it's a pity". (and that's it!)
Gandalf, later: "The pity of Bilbo could screw up the fate of many".
Variant 2:
Frodo: "It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him long time ago.
Gandalf: "It's a pity that Bilbo… [pause] is not with him at the moment. Many of them deserve to die. Many of the decent people are dead. Frodo, let him go his way. Don't judge and you won't be judged. My heart tells me that Golom can't tell a difference between good and evil. Bilbo's life can change fate of many creatures."
(From: "Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo?
Do not be too eager to deal out death and judgement. Even the very wise can not see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many".)
Gandalf continues: "Who are we to debate what fate has prepared for us. We can only rule and also better organize our time. There are a lot of forces in the world which can free a desire. Bilbo was lucky to find the Ring which you would be happy to have as well. It's an encouraging thought."
(From: "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the ring, in which case you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.")
Scary dwarves
Saruman about Gandalf: "You are afraid to go into the Mines. Dwarves had crawled into very bowels of the mountain. You know that their shadows and sparks of fire can still be seen in the darkness of Kazad-Dun."
More scary dwarves and their scary hospitality
Version 1:
Gimli: "In Moria we will feast on tasty fruit stones: my nephew is very generous!"
Version 2:
Gimli: "Red dwarves will give us red beer and red beef." (Did they have Communism in Moria?)
Version 3:
Gimli: "You will soon feel the questionable hospitality of the Dwarves."
In Moria
Gandalf: "Finally we came to a place with more light. There're oil lamps burning and no mistake!" (From: Gandalf - " Ah! It’s that way. … Let me risk a little more light". Sam - "It's an eye opener and no mistake!")
Gandalf to Balrog: "I'm a servant of Saint Anna and of a flammable Udo"!
Eccentric Galadriel
Galadriel welcoming Fellowship (From: "He has fallen into shadow. .The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all…. Welcome Frodo of the Shire. One who has seen the Eye!")
Version 1:
Galadriel: "You have come to the Land of Shadow".
Version 2:
Galadriel: "He went to the kingdom of shadows, but adventure continues! Make one wrong step and you will be lost in this world forever. Welcome Frodo. LOOK INTO MY EYES, FRODO!"
Boromir to Aragorn (after this greeting): "I'm so sick of this idiot woman, her voice is banging on my brains since we've come to this darned forest."
Galadriel to Frodo after Mirror: "That will come to pass if your Quest succeeds" (From: "It is what will come to pass if you should fail.")
Galadriel interpreting Mirror: "He'll deside to take the Ring… One by one he'll destroy them all. Your allianse is breaking, and now your time has come!"
Frodo: "I guess now you will try to take my Ring?"
(From: Galadriel: "Fellowship is breaking. It has already begun. He will try to take the ring. You know of whom I speak. One by one it will destroy them all". Frodo: "If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring.")
Galadriel while tempted by the Ring: "SHOW ME YOUR LOVE AND DEVOTION!"
Galadriel after test: "I will pass to the East and remain in Galadr." (From: "I will pass to the West and remain Galdriel")
Galadriel (finally saying goodbye): Here is the light of Elendil, our most beloved star. Armani!
How magic of Lorien affects different people
Legolas (while listening to an Elven song): "I'm going back for Gandalf". (From: "A lament for Gandalf")
Boromir to Aragorn abous Minas Tirith: "And the top of White Tower, swaying under a summer wind..."
The final accord
Saruman to Uruks: My dear Ugluk-Ai!
Aragorn: This is Aeronaut, the first king of Gondor! (about Argonat)
Gimli, instead of "Emin Muil": "Oh my God…"
Boromir to Frodo: "I will take the Ring and you will beg for death before the end!" (From: "They will find you! They will take the ring and you will beg for death before the end!")
Frodo to Aragorn on Amon Hen (joyfully): "Why don't YOU destroy the Ring?"
Lurtz sticking himself on Aragorn's sword instead of just roaring says: "Have s****ed yourself, aren't you, a*****?"
This is quite ammusing. pirate translations can get you into a lot of trouble. I was in a 2-week long argument with axion because of the fact that a fansubbed ep of hellsing said alucard's real name was arkkard. they just didn't know much japanese, as it turns out.
) 
but oh so funny...
Linear Mode
