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Well, I've just spent the most amazing 10 hours....yes 10 hours, talking, or should I say typing to my most wonderful and gorgeous girl Nicki. We have known each other for about 5 months now and I feel I cant get enough of her. She is funny, very intelligent, has a wonderful sense of humour and we seem to get on just wonderfully. I've written a lil about her on my main page for those that are interested. I dont know where the hours go. I get online and I see her name and my heart just wants to leap out of my body. My pulse starts to race and I have this smile from ear to ear and it doesnt go away. We talk and talk and the time just slips by without me knowing, and I cant get enough of her. She is only 15 years old but she has this most amazing maturity and sensitivity about her. I've not ever felt this way before; I've been completely captivated by her and my love for her consumes me....engulfs my very being. If somebody asked me what we talked about in those wonderful hours, I really dont know. There is rarely any pause in our conversation, it just flows and flows and I cant get enough of her. Yesterday, we used this whiteboard thingy from Netmeeting. I could watch as she wrote and drew things before my very eyes, and we would write things freehand to each other; hearts with our names within. I would draw the heart and she would draw over where I had just drawn and then we would put our names inside the heart with an arrow going through the middle, and seeing this evolve before my very eyes made me feel closer than I've ever felt to anyone in my life. We would then fill the page with colour and little romantic things, and we would just go on and on until we had used up all of the page. I cant believe how much love went into making those pages. The feeling was so incredibly intense, so filled with passion that I thought my heart would just burst with the love I felt for her.
All too soon one of us had to leave and I just couldnt believe that 10 hours had passed. Ten most wonderful, passionate, romantic love filled hours. As each day was passing, I was falling more and more in love, so completely and hopelessly consumed by the passion I was feeling for my beloved Nicki. All my waking hours, either at home, in school, in bed, in the shower, out running or biking or swimming, all I could think of was Nicki. My Nicki. I didnt think life could be this wonderful.
Well, I'm off to bed now to dream and to think about my most wonderful gorgeous baby.
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No, I didn't write that. My Steve did. It's not recent...we've known each other for 9 months now, not 5. We argue, yeah...we definitely don't always get along. We've both caused each other a lot of pain. But it's amazing, the way he makes me feel. I've spent so much time with him...just letting the hours slip away. Hell, I'm doing it at this very second. We're talking about marriage, lol. That's crazy, isn't it? I'm 16, he's 18, he's on the other side of the world...and we're talking about getting married. He told me today that he saw a baby...and it made him think of me. Heh. We're crazy and hopeless.
I have people tell me that we don't know what love is. They tell me I'm too young, that I don't know what I'm feeling. They say I'm being stupid. It's insane...I know that. I've always thought internet relationships were for pathetic losers who couldn't get someone real. But...I love Steve. I love him with all of me. That's another thing people say is stupid...I claim to love Steve, and yet I have a boyfriend here. I won't make any excuses for that. I don't have any reasons for it. It doesn't change the way I feel for Steve, though. People can tell me my feelings aren't real, but I know what I feel.
I honestly don't know what to do. That's why I started this thread. Should I wait until I can be with Steve? Or try to move on? Sometimes I feel like he'd be better off without me. I really don't know what I should do...
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Will you ever notice.
I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that...
Last edited by Nephemera : 09.11.02 at 00:35:11.
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Whew okay, This time it'll cost ya a bottle of Heinekan.
Online relationships, at the moment, are not only extremely risky but can be extremely unhealthy (emotionally). Believe me on this one, I know first hand what they can do to people. ( BUT MY PAST IS DARK AND MYSTICAL -- AND NEVER TO BE KNOWN WSSSSH~~ )
Anyway, There is a very grim but true reality when it comes to online relationships: The person is ,and will be COMPLETELY diffrent IRL. True, they may have a similar personality; but how they act and carry themselves is totally diffrent from online. Unless you have means to frequently visit that person it is a really bad idea.
The reason you may feel such a strong love for him, is because you're working solely apon an emotional plane. You can't do anything over the internet, at most you can just type your emotions out as strongly as you can. That is why it may seem so emotional. You can't see or hear the actual person, and express things you would never utter in real life. Online, there is only emotion. That is why it seems so strong. Love is extremely easy to express, and online.. It also gets so inflated and huge -- it becomes much like a puppy-love like crush.
You're 16, and I feel with your current social status you should do your best to move on. Also - you REALLY need to let him know this. It's obvious he is WAY more serious about the whole relationship than you are. You're teaseing him, very very badly. That is not a good thing. Something is also sorta wierd if you're talking about marriage if you've never even met the guy before.. That may be a cute romantic idea but is it real? ---- No.
It took me three years of my personal life, and a year to get over those years to learn what I've told you. I've seen your crazy pictures, and you look perfectly normal. I also remember what you said about your friends, and you seem to be socially acceptable. If I were you, I'd just try to move on -- or keep him as a close friend and MAKE SURE he knows that it is JUST a friendship. It will crush him, but trust me.. It's for his own good and yours. It sounds like you have alot of good things going on IRL, and trust me on this -- don't let a romantic quest ruin them.
I can say alot more on the subject, but I'll letcha say what ya think on it all before saying anymore. |
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I've done the same. But nothing works out the perfect way it does here, which is probably why the net is so captivating. It's a perfect world. I know you'll argue otherwise..... but the good things on here can be exaggerated out of proportion where the bad things can be made almost insignificant.
The same thing happened to me..... I'm younger than you and I know less about this sort of thing BUT.... this is my view. If you get too involved you could get hurt, you may think you know everything about this guy but you don't. Unless you can see the way they act in RL around others and how they would act around you, you don't know them.... people are so different here. Just be careful..... |
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| You hardly even know him. People get caught up in internet relationships on a daily basis. It's not that difficult to sweet talk someone over the internet, and it's even easier to be totally untruthful. People take for granted the benefit of seeing someone when they talk, or knowing them in person for that matter. It's a completely different playing field. You get body language, they're more adherant to society, and less emotionally open. This is how many rape, murder, and abduction cases begin. A flight of fancy with some internet love leads to the shocking truth that the one on the other side is 30 years old, unemployed, and manic depressive. You shouldn't be swept away so easily through a letter from a person you've never met, and who you'll probobly never meet, because that person is not real. I can promise you that he would never be able to speak those words on the spur of the moment. There was probobly much thought and emotion put into that writing, something that normal conversation hardly allows. |
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| Love has caused me to go insane. |
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| Should I even bother posting in here? I think not. I give you my opinion on AIM too much as it is. |
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QUOTE OF THE MOMENT:
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Quoth Lennon Legend:
Moral of the story girls; put out.
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| Well online relationships are hard to keep. Especially when you want to do more with the person but you can't so i try to stay away from it. |
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AKA: ShadowWind, Seņor Tequila, Horizon Falling, Esc,
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I think someone said something about me not seeing or talking to Steve.
I know it's not the same, lol...but both of us have webcams, so I know he's not some 45-year-old pervert. He's just an 18-year-old pervert, hahah.  Also, we've talked on the phone and on the mic.
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| The whole idea of you dating him must have recently happened. Isn't there a thread on this same room about you sucking a guy off? |
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