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Paranoid & Self Confidence
08.26.02, 05:35:31
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Post #1 (permalink) |
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I'll admit it, I'm a very paranoid person.
I think in real life on a scale of 1 to a 100 my self-confidence would be well under 10.
I can never walk down a street comfortably by myself, whenever I see someone up ahead that looks slightlier older or around the same age as me I become totally scared.. I often walk to the over side of the street to try and avoid them.
I never feel comfortable around a group of people that I don't really know. I constantly worry about what they're thinking of me, or why some of them are glancing at each other. Heck I often feel like this a lot around my friends, always feeling that someone is talking about me behind my back.
What's worse is with my parents. I honestly do not feel close or even loved by my parents. My mum never shows much interest in my life, and just orders me around all day. My dad I haven't seen in 7 years. My step-dad, I hate beyond belief. My parents honestly don't know me anymore.. I do not have the confidence, nor feel comfortable talking to them about personal issues with them. They give me the impression that they're gonna shout at me, or not take what I'm going to say very warm-heartedly.
In real-life, I'm scared.. or worried by a lot of people around me. I love a crowd.. but I hate being by myself....
Online, I feel very comfortable.. I can talk away with people I don't even know.. but even then.. gaps of silence.. or something.. make me feel slightly uneasy.. as if I've done something to offend them.
I even felt slightly un-easy about posting this, because I'm worried what some people might think, I maye come accross as a very open person.. but I have a few secrets that only a few of you know about.
It really makes me feel like life's failure.. I don't know how to tackle it.. so, has anyone got any advice.. or just some comforting to share? |
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Arielle
Aerith_Freak | aerithfreak | Ethereal
Former Site Manager and Forum Administrator of Final Fantasy Republic 2002-2005
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| wow, i'm alittle like that, If you were to talk to me offline i'd be much different, i'd say i'm 50/100 paranoid. still my parents care too much about me, even if they fight alot themselves, i'm lucky |
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Being online is great....people cant see you..unless you want them too...you can be more free in your expressions to people who you let get close to you...
I too worry what people think of me but its not bothering me at the mo...if they wanna be my friend great...if not...its their loss.
THis FFR is great....people of similar nature coming together and just chatiing about life...games etc.....
Ethereal...theres no need to be paranoid...youre amongst friends here......if people in real life are getting you down...you know where to turn |
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Quoth Albel Nox:
Imho? it's emo, douche.So if you're going to call me emo do it right.not imao, ihmo, or imo, but EMO.
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| I wish it were that simple Blitzballer, my net life is at the control of my parents too.. I can only get online when they let me online. So there are quite often days where I have no-one to turn too. |
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| If my dad comes home and i'm on my comp he won't let me stay on for long, luckily I have a 3 hour window, and I get on at night too. they hate that I like to use the internet, and get on-line 24/7 |
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Damn it...sorry you two...
Theres nothing you can do but be yourself...whatever you do do not change who you are....if people make judgements of you so be it....What about your closest friends what do they say..? |
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| no, everyone likes me, I have a ton of friends, i'm just alittle paranoid |
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| Being paranoid can, and most times, run your life. When I was younger I was so paranoid about what others thought about me, even so much so that I was too scared to leave the house just incase they judged me but people weren`t judging me by the clothes I wore or the way I talked they were judging Davie the person not who I looked like or anything like that. So gradually my self-confidence grew and so did, well this is what my friends say, my ego but it is hard to overcome paranoia and all you can do is try to overcome this "demon" and try your best to bcome more confident. |
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A student won't attend her university classes on the first day because she knows that in some classes the professor will instruct them to go around the room and introduce themselves. Just thinking about sitting there, waiting to introduce herself to a roomful of strangers who will be staring at her makes her feel nauseous. She knows she won't be able to think clearly because her anxiety will be so high, and she is sure she will leave out important details. Her voice might even quiver and she will sound scared and tentative. The anxiety is just too much to bear---so she skips the first day of class to avoid the possibility of having to introduce herself in class.
A man finds it difficult to walk down the street because he's self-conscious and feels that people are watching him from their windows. Worse, he may run into a person on the sidewalk and be forced to say hello to them. He's not sure he can do that. His voice will catch, his "hello" will sound weak, and the other person will know he's frightened. More than anything else, he doesn't want anyone to know that he's afraid. He keeps his eyes safely away from anyone else's gaze and prays he can make it home without having to talk to anyone.
You sound like you suffer from the third largest psychological problem in the United States today Ethereal. Social Anxiety effects over 15 million Americans a year, and is nothing to be ashamed over. Hell, even I've been diagnosed with this before. Unlike some other psychological problems, social anxiety is not well understood by the general public or by medical and mental health care professionals, such as doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, social workers, and counselors. In fact, people with social anxiety are misdiagnosed almost 90% of the time.
One thing that all socially anxious people share is the knowledge that their thoughts and fears are basically irrational. That is, people with social anxiety know that others are really not critically judging or evaluating them all the time. They understand that people are not trying to embarrass or humiliate them. They realize that their thoughts and feelings are somewhat exaggerated and irrational. Yet, despite this rational knowledge, they still continue to feel differently
There is nothing to be ashamed about either, this is a very serious problem that drastically effects peoples lives. It is most commonly treated with mild anti-depressant pills. Paxil is one of the most commonly used drugs to cure this. I've taken it before ,and you won't beleive how much better it makes you feel. It takes away that fear, the fear of things that aren't there. The disorder is also treated by short term theorpy. Most patients show HUGE progress in anywhere from 12 to 24 sessions.
I suffer from this disorder myself, and have been taking paxil for about two years.. I have a crazy tesosterone level in my blood, and I'm loseing my hair at the age of 17 because of it :/. It also effects my behavior at times. There were times I wouldn't go to school ,because I thought all the ghetto kids were plotting to beat the **** out of me behind my back. I'm a really quiet guy in nature.. unless speaking to a large audiance. I'm great when given the task of entertaining people =P.
Parents will always be parents. They will always loom over your shoulder and try to peer into your life.. They do this because they care for you. It's your responsiblity to muster up the courage to reason with them. Parents are easily reasoned with, if you talk to them with respect. It's good to try to be honest and open with your parents.. Always try to tell them how you really feel.
My suggestions to you Ethereal? I think it would be a really good idea to talk to your parents about this. A few trips to a psycologist could really help you. My social anxiety nearly died on my fourth trip.. and taking paxil every day makes me feel SO much damn better and safe. Don't be ashamed at seeing a psycologist either. The best way to find out one to go to, is to talk to your normal doctor. They will refer you to a psycologist who can help you and that is covered by insurance. I think with a few sessions with a good psycologist, you would feel ALOT better about being around socially in public. Good luck, reglardless of what you decide to do.
 ..Here's a chocobo for good luck =P. Waaarrrrrk!! |
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