View Single Post
  Dammo
 
 
Dammo's Avatar
Communist Idol
 
Posts: 4,401
 
Reg: Jan 03 2003
 
ID: 7565
 
RP: 175
 
Scissor, Paper, Stone!
Gomez, Queen
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The Dark Tower Series
My Lap
     
 
Default  02.23.04, 03:39:17
  Post #4 (permalink)
 
     

Name: Boris
Age: Twenty Seven
Length: 10 feet
Weight: 900 Kilograms
Gender:Male
Race: Freak Walrus
Nationality: Russian
Class: Communist

Head: “Look at those two tusks mate, their ivory tint glaring against the cinnamon-brown skinned walrus named Boris.”
“Yes, they’re sharp buggers, those tusks are.”
"They’re pretty damn long too, three feet each!"
“Cor! But what’s that on his head eh?”
“ My God! It’s a damn Soviet Communist hat! Look at that fluff mate!”
“That’s pure Communist wool that is!”
“Well, apart from that, this guy looks rather alri- Wait… Holy **** man! He’s got no pupils!”
“He’s bliiiiiiiind! Look at those eyes man!”
“They’re pure white they are, how does he see?!”

Body: “Errrr, why’s that Walrus wearing a bear-skin coat, Bob?”
“I don’t know Jim.”
“Looks the pure Soviet he does, eh Bob?”
“Yeh, Jim, he does.”

Weapon: “But Bob, what’s that thing with the handle that’s sticking out of the back of that coat?
“Jim, I think it’s a ****ing AK-47!”
“Oh **** Bob, those blind eyes are looking at us real scary they are!”
“I think he wants to- AHHHHHHHHH”
*Gunfire and screams*
What wasn’t mentioned in this brief dialogue is that Boris’ tusks make ****ing ace weapons as well. Bob and Jim only realized this as they lay dying on the ground, being gutted by those tusks.

History: Boris, like Pe-Tako, used to be normal, until the day the evil labs stole him from his natural habitat, and started playing with him, sinisterly. These were the essentially the same science guys who made Pe-Tako, and sick bastard they were. These guys had a Communist fetish, and because Boris and Walrus kind of rhymed, they created the Communist Walrus. And they did it while listening to “I Am The Walrus”, the sick ****s. So they gave him everything he’d need to be a good Commie, the coat, the gun, the damned hat, and tons of information on Communism. They also gave him a voice, programmed Russian of course. But after a humiliating incident, where Boris killed some scientists out of rage, they took away his eyesight, hoping to have more control over him. Of course, this did provide trouble for Boris, but being the super walrus he was, he soon found that his smell was super keen, and he could figure out where an enemy was using his odour vision. But before he got his revenge on the scientists, the penguin named Pe-Tako did it for him, giving him a way to freedom. But Boris, unlike Pe-Tako, didn’t know where to go, and so, after a few months, he ran into Pe-Tako, and later, Real, and these three formed the Animal Trinity.
______________________________________

100% Creamy Goodness

Last edited by Maldar the Incompetent : 02.23.04 at 03:48:40.
  Dammo is offline
View Dammos Profile! Find more posts by Dammo!