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Simon..VERSUS THE WORLD!!
This would be the film to end all films..it'd be about me fighting out against the world, it would be a psychedelic fusion of all move genres, you'd have horror in there, politics, sci fi, war, romance, bit of drama, some animated stuff...of course you'd have to be on a heavy dose of narcotics to understand it
Basic Storyline: The opening credits roll up, in a rip off of the star wars opening crawl it details my life right up to this point, in a heavily cut back and exaggerated form...
The movie begins with me sitting at the pc typing up this crap, then i get a phone cal from Tony Blair, it seems Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden and the resurrected cyborg Hitler are hiding around Whitton somewhere and are planning to enslave the world under a supernazi terrorist rule, and I'm informed that I'm the only that can help because apparently they're all FFR members that are attracted to me and I'll have to work under cover o_O to foil their nefarious schemes..
I begin by tracking the cyborg Hitler, I start in the pub, he isn't there so i stay drinking in case he shows up..he doesn't, the as I leave and walk home in a drunken state I'm run over by Hitlers AUTOWAGON!!!! and I'm hauled off to GERMANY!!!!!
I awake in a nazi torture chamber with electrodes attached to my testes....I endure hours of agonising torture..then Hitler reveals to me that this is his hidden sex dungeon and I'm to be his new sex slave...but first I must become an evil mutant cyborg nazi....
Hitler leaves with his nazi slaves..but before they go they reveal to me we are in a luftwaffe zeppelin, heading to, AMERICA
all is lost for me..it seems I'm doomed to be a sex slave to the new world order..but one of the mutated necroancer nazi zombies comes to me..he too is a member of FFR and my spam has touched his heart, he releases me and I piggy back ride him to freedom, we dive out of the blimp..on the way down I steal his parachute and kick him away from me and glide down gently to America.
I'm greeted by captain America, Spider-Man and The Terminator, we create a force for justice to fight against the new wave of terrorist nazis and we form our headquarters under a nearby bridge.
For the next 10 minutes the group talks and drinks, we have indoctrinated all the local vagrants into our group and we're speculating about what's going to happen next..
Captain America deduces that they (nazi people) are going to attack Washington, so we head off to the white house, on the way We meet up with sme girls and the romance part comes into play..then my love  is kidnapped...and the nazi terrorists demand to fight me alone..me versus hitler, saddam and osama, all of whom are mutated, cybernetic ill tempered people..
I meet their challenge, I spark up my lightsaber and walk up to them, a long fight ensues, then hitler cuts off me hand..in a dramttic voice he then says
"Simon......*breathing*..I am your father"
I'm like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
and I go mad and I kill everyone....then the place we were blows up...I die.........
The movie ends with everyone saying how great I am, and the bird I met is crying but she is now carrying my child...I'm posthumously crowned the warrior king of England...
THE END |
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Bastard
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